Dating, Sex, and Security




dating sex

Okay, y’all it’s about to get real. We’ve all heard the lectures on “Abstinence only” and “Just say no,” right? We get it. But let’s agree to be completely open and honest with each other:

  • Dating is entertaining.
  • Sex is FUN.
  • Sometimes, we aren’t “in the mood.”
  • And our society says sex and dating go hand in hand.

Guys, we’re being real. I’m being open and vulnerable, just hang with me here! Legit, I told a friend once: “You know you don’t HAVE to have sex with your boyfriend, right?” and she looked at me like I was some kind of crazy person! She was scared to get pregnant and afraid of STDs / STIs. She didn’t really like having sex and wanted a break. Why is that wrong?

Our society smiles and cheers when women choose to openly express themselves in sexual ways and yet when someone doesn’t want to have sex it’s seen as strange. We constantly hear messages in middle school and high school about how you don’t have to have sex, you can just say no, wait until you’re ready and the like. Yet turn on the TV, take a peek at Hollywood on the internet and it’s a different story.

I’m just going to be radical and say what’s on my mind:

JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE DATING DOESN’T MEAN YOU NEED TO HAVE SEX!

Did y’all catch that? I’m going to say it one more time and louder for the people in the back:

JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE DATING

DOESN’T MEAN YOU NEED TO HAVE SEX!

The guy I’m dating now has never pressured me to have sex and we haven’t. I honestly have trusted him more and more as he respects my boundaries and the fact that I’ve told him I don’t want to have sex. I’m testing this theory that more security is found in a relationship when there is no sex before you’re committed to each other in marriage. Guys, this is totally working for me! No worries about possibly being pregnant before I’m ready, no fear of contracting some yucky disease that could totally ruin my future, and a healthy relationship with a man I’m crazy in love with, who loves me enough to be selfless and put my needs as his priority. We love and trust each other and are sorely committed to one another. And guess what? It’s working!

There is so much value in waiting, believe me! If you haven’t waited, no judgement. I’m just saying you don’t have to give yourself completely to a guy just because you’re dating. This is a gift meant to be given to someone who will cherish and respect you.

So what’s my message:

If you ain’t ready, just say no. Waiting isn’t weird, it’s using your head to protect your heart.

JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE DATING DOESN’T MEAN YOU NEED TO HAVE SEX!

ONE MORE TIME:

JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE DATING DOESN’T MEAN YOU NEED TO HAVE SEX!

Happy Dating 🙂


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